Conflict between CEO and Board Chair, between CEO and board members, and among board members themselves is an escalating problem in nonprofit, association, and chamber of commerce organizations.
Respectful, collegial dialogue is giving way to interactions that are more confrontational and contentious.
To help me gain an understanding of what triggers conflict, how it can be resolved and better yet—avoided, I reached out to speaker colleague Dr. Irvine Nugent. Irvine is a recognized expert in workplace conflict who helps leaders build conflict capacity under pressure. I also appreciate that Irvine has a solid background of involvement with nonprofits.
I especially like that Irvine’s work doesn’t stop at resolving conflict…he focuses on building leaders’ capacity to navigate it.
My request of Irvine was to share the benefit of his experience that would assist nonprofit, association, and chamber of commerce leaders deal with personality conflict challenges.
He graciously agreed and shared his valuable insight with the following responses to my questions for this article.
To start our conversation I asked, What are most common causes of personal conflict? What is causing growing escalation of conflict between CEOs and their Board Chairs and between CEO and their Board members? And Irvine replied,
“Most conflict starts long before the argument. It begins with an expectation that wasn’t discussed, a decision that wasn’t understood, or a frustration that wasn’t voiced. In CEO–board relationships, another factor is often at play: blurred boundaries between governance and management. Under pressure, people can become more territorial, certain, and defensive. Then we stop being curious about the other person and start assigning motives to them. Once I believe I know why you did something, disagreement can become personal very quickly.”
I next asked, How can conflict between CEO and Board Chair be avoided? What are techniques for avoiding escalation of conflict? What are tips for resolving conflict situations?
Irvine advised. “One of the biggest mistakes leaders make is waiting until conflict feels serious enough to address. By then, they’ve often been privately rehearsing the problem for months.
Strong CEO–Chair relationships create a habit of talking about tension before it becomes a crisis. When conflict does arise, resist the urge to immediately prove your position. Slow down, ask questions, and make sure you understand the concern underneath the position. You don’t need agreement to move forward, but you do need enough trust to stay in the conversation.”
To address conflict that arises in a board meeting I asked, How can disagreement in board meetings be delt with? What is difference between healthy disagreement and destructive conflict? Who is responsible for providing leadership for navigating through conflict?
“A healthy board should disagree”, Irvine said. “If everyone agrees all the time, I’d be more concerned than reassured. Healthy disagreement expands the conversation: people question assumptions, introduce different perspectives, and remain open to being influenced.
Destructive conflict does the opposite. People become more certain, more personal, and less curious. The Board Chair has an important responsibility for protecting the conditions for productive disagreement, but everyone owns the culture. Each person has to ask: Am I helping this room think better, or am I simply trying to win?”
For final insight that Irvine might want to share I asked, What else would you like to add to help resolve personality and board room conflict?
He suggests, “Pay attention to what happens to you under pressure. Conflict has a way of narrowing our thinking just when we need perspective most. I call this building Conflict Capacity—the ability to stay emotionally grounded, cognitively flexible, relationally present, and behaviorally intentional when tension rises.
Before trying to fix the other person, ask: What is this conflict bringing out in me, and is that helping us move forward? That question can change a conversation.”
Thank you Dr. Irvine Nugent for providing this valuable insight! Learn more about Irvine and his work by visiting his website www.conflictEQ.com
My book, Stop The Nonprofit Board Blame Game, focuses on why board members don’t meet expectations. Can you make the connection between boards not doing what they’re supposed to do and the influence of conflict that erodes positive relationships between an organization’s leaders?
With these tips from Dr. Irvine Nugent, what actions will you take to navigate through conflict?